


Results

by schittposting



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 2020 US Presidential Election, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Patrick Brewer is a Troll, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Canon, Service Top Patrick Brewer, Smut, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:09:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27636626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schittposting/pseuds/schittposting
Summary: David's anxious all week about the U.S. presidential election, so when the results are announced, Patrick helps him relax.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 21
Kudos: 128
Collections: Politics? What Politics?





	Results

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Timmers for beta reading! 😘

Patrick’s tried everything he can think of to get his husband to relax and stop checking the news this week. David’s been glued to his phone, refreshing the results over and over, despite Patrick repeatedly telling him that the results won’t update faster just because he keeps checking them. So Patrick’s tried giving David massages, making him take baths with his favorite lavender bath salts, having him test out the new activated charcoal mud mask Brenda sent them.

He tries to get David to put his phone down long enough to watch a movie with him, but even _Ocean’s 8_ can’t distract him for long, and Patrick catches him refreshing the New York Times election results page during the part where David usually rants to Patrick about how Sandra Bullock’s character and Cate Blanchett’s character are so obviously exes. He’s expecting David to tell him how they just need to kiss and make up, but when he turns to David, David is on his phone again, staring at the little red and blue shapes on the electoral map, none of which has changed colors in the fifteen minutes since David last checked.

Patrick even tries sex, usually one of the more effective ways of getting David’s anxious brain to stop spiraling, but Patrick’s only a few minutes into blowing David when he hears the buzz of David’s phone vibrating against the surface of the bedside table and David’s eyes spring open.

“Ignore it,” Patrick says, but less than a minute later he hears it buzz again.

“I’m just gonna… put that on silent.” David says, picking up his phone. When he looks at the screen, though, his eyes get big and Patrick can tell he’s not putting it on silent.

“What is it, David?” he asks, sliding his mouth off of David’s dick.

David at least has the decency to look sheepish before turning his phone screen so Patrick can see the notification from his news app. “They called Wisconsin.”

  


So when Biden’s win is announced, Patrick is thrilled. For the United States, for the world, and most of all, thrilled that his husband will finally stop staring at his phone.

They’re at the store when the news breaks, and David opens the curtain from the back area with a look of pure joy on his face, and Patrick knows. “They called it?”

“They called it!” David exclaims. “They fucking called it!”

Patrick lets out a delighted laugh, full of relief, and takes three big strides over to where David’s standing, still in the doorway. They wrap each other up in a big hug, putting their whole bodies into it, sinking into each other and letting all the tension of the past week flow out of them.

Patrick pulls back far enough to meet David’s lips in a celebratory kiss, which David returns enthusiastically.

David deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue between Patrick’s lips as he pulls Patrick into the back office and pushes him up against the wall. Soon David’s got the length of his body against him and Patrick feels a familiar hardening bulge pressing into his hip.

“There’s nobody in the store right now, we can be quick.” David whispers into Patrick’s ear, following his words with a lick.

“David.” Patrick tries for a warning tone, but it’s difficult when David’s sucking on his earlobe.

“Come on, I haven’t come in like a week,” he says, kissing the spot behind Patrick’s ear now.

“Then I think you can make it a little longer.” Patrick says, gasping as David starts to suck on his neck.

David whines. “Please, Patrick.”

Patrick reluctantly pulls away from David’s mouth, even though the things he’s doing with it feel amazing. “I thought you liked it when I make you wait.”

David’s still leaning forward, trying to get at Patrick’s neck again, but Patrick holds him back until he responds. “I do,” he says in a strained voice.

“Then you’ll wait.”

David tilts his head back, clenching his eyes shut. Patrick claps him on the shoulder and heads back out to the sales floor, adjusting himself in his pants before he steps past the curtain and taking a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down.

  


Patrick teases David for the rest of the day. David’s in the back filling online orders most of the day, but when he comes out onto the sales floor for breaks, Patrick gives him lingering casual touches that he knows David notices, and when Patrick comes to the back to check on him, he leans in close over David’s shoulder to look at what he’s doing and lets his breath fan over David’s neck when he praises his work. David’s reaction is restrained but unmistakable.

The second time Patrick comes back to check on David, it’s in the middle of the afternoon lull, and this time when he leans in, he lets his hand move from David’s shoulder to his chest, trailing down over his stomach, and, when he hears David’s breath hitch and sees his hips tilt up slightly, landing on his groin. David’s half hard, just from this bit of touching, these drawn-out teases, and Patrick strokes him through his tight jeans until he’s fully hard. When the bell rings to alert them to a customer entering the store, David lets out a little whimper as Patrick removes his hand and presses a quick kiss to David’s cheek before heading back out front.

David’s eager to close up that evening, and Patrick pretends not to notice as he takes his sweet time counting the till, making David sweep the floor, and getting everything in order before they head out. 

As soon as they get home, David’s all over Patrick, leaning back against the door and pulling Patrick in to kiss him, tugging Patrick’s hips forward until they’re flush with his own. Patrick kisses him slowly, lazily, even as David’s pace grows more frantic.

“Do you want to go to the bedroom?” David asks breathily. He’s looking at Patrick with wide, dark eyes, face flushed, lips wet and slightly parted. Patrick wants to devour him right here, to give in and give him everything he wants, but he holds back.

“Not yet.”

“Patrick,” David whines. “I’ve waited all day.”

Patrick leans in close to David’s ear. “I’m gonna make you wait so long you’ll call me Nevada.”

David groans, whether at the cheesiness of the line or at having to wait, Patrick’s not sure. Patrick grinds his hips into David’s one more time, then leaves David there, leaning against the door, throwing a cheeky grin over his shoulder as he goes.

  


They get a pizza delivered and pop open a bottle of champagne to celebrate, curling up on the couch together to watch the victory speeches. They make out a little while they wait for the speeches to begin, a little tipsy and feeling as light and fizzy as the champagne they're drinking as they watch the crowd celebrate on TV.

David starts undoing the buttons of Patrick’s shirt, kissing at Patrick’s collarbone as he goes. He’s just about to unbutton Patrick’s jeans when there’s a roar from the crowd on TV and Kamala Harris takes the stage. Patrick grins and moves David’s hand from his waistband to his thigh. David sighs but turns his attention to the TV to listen to the speech. His hand starts moving slowly upward, though. Patrick pretends not to notice, until David’s almost to his crotch, at which point he catches David’s hand.

“David, the vice president is talking.”

“Vice president-elect,” David says, a little sulky, but still grinning about the win.

They manage to get through the rest of the speeches without David making any more moves on Patrick, but they do go through the rest of the bottle of champagne, and as soon as the speeches end, caught up in the excitement of the cheering crowd and the fireworks, they start making out again.

When “The Best” comes on, Patrick pulls back and smiles at David, a soft, tender smile, and David returns it, leaning in for a kiss that’s sweeter, more tender, than the ones before.

When the song ends, Patrick turns off the TV. “Put your phone on silent,” he tells David, who nods, wide-eyed, at the husky, commanding tone of Patrick’s voice, and does as he’s told. Patrick gets up, extending a hand to David, and leads him upstairs.

They don’t even make it to the bedroom before David is undressing Patrick again, arms encircling him and fingers heading for buttons. Patrick’s shirt and David’s sweater are shed at the top of the stairs, their pants at the doorway to the bedroom, and underwear at the foot of the bed. Patrick pushes David down onto the bed with slightly more force than he usually uses, earning an excited gasp from David. Patrick climbs on top of David, cock already hardening, and kneels up over his lap. David looks at Patrick’s cock like he’s starving, and Patrick grins at this feeling of being desired, being wanted, by someone he wants just as much.

Patrick leans down and claims David’s mouth in a fierce kiss, biting his lower lip and tugging gently at it. Patrick’s hands move from David’s neck down his chest, thumbs grazing David’s nipples as he goes, and continue down the line of hair leading just to where David wants them. David moans a little and bucks his hips, trying to make contact with Patrick, but Patrick’s hands move out of range and push at David’s waist, keeping him off balance.

“Uh uh,” he says, pulling back. “Patience.”

David flops dramatically back onto the bed and Patrick chuckles.

Patrick swings his leg back over so he’s no longer straddling David and lies down on his side next to him, leaning over the edge of the bed to pull the bottle of lube from his bedside table before settling back facing David. He touches one fingertip to the base of David’s cock and slowly, gently slides it upward until he reaches the tip, which is leaking precome. He circles the tip of David’s cock with that same finger, then slides it back down at the same excruciatingly slow pace.

“Please, I need more,” David whines.

Patrick places a second finger next to his first and repeats the movement, earning a frustrated groan from David. Then he squirts a bit of lube into his palm and uses his slick hand to do the same thing, just as slowly, with just as little pressure. David gasps and sighs and wriggles deliciously, his desperate need spurring Patrick to draw it out even further.

Patrick continues at this slow pace, speeding up little by little, almost imperceptibly, until David is near sobbing from how badly he needs more pressure, more speed, _more_. Patrick has to take his hand off David’s cock at one point when David starts thrusting into his fist, then again when David reaches down with his own hand to try and grip himself along with Patrick.

“No,” Patrick says, “I’m doing this. You just lie back and take it.”

David groans, and in that noise, Patrick can hear arousal mingled with frustration. David loves it when Patrick uses that stern voice with him, so Patrick takes care choosing which moments to use it.

Patrick increases the pressure and speed gradually, until he’s pumping David’s cock in and out of his fist and David is moaning and writhing and crying out “Patrick! I’m almost—”

Patrick stops. He grips David’s cock and holds still for a moment, then releases it, and David lets out a choked noise and starts moving his hand towards his cock, then thinks better of it and stops.

“Good, David,” Patrick says in David’s ear. “Hold back for me. I’m gonna make it so good for you.”

David lets out a shaky whimper, unable to form words.

Patrick grins and waits for David’s breathing to slow a little before he moves down the bed and positions himself between David’s thighs, lifting David’s knees and guiding him into a position that gives Patrick better access. He grabs the lube again and smears a generous dollop on his first two fingers, then brings them to David’s hole and circles the entrance several times, getting him nice and slick. From the way David’s reacting, Patrick knows that this is working for him, teasing him, just as effectively as Patrick’s hand on his cock was.

Patrick leans down and presses a kiss to David’s inner thigh, then dips a forefinger into his hole, just the very tip, stretching him ever so slightly before he retreats again. David thrusts a little along with Patrick’s finger, asking for more, and Patrick puts his other hand on David’s hip to keep him in place, reminding him with that touch that Patrick is the one setting the pace here. He gives David a little more then, up to his first knuckle, before retreating again, drawing a needy whine from somewhere deep within David. Patrick keeps going slowly in and out, giving him a little more each time, until his entire finger is moving in and out of David.

“Please, Patrick, I need more,” David begs, and Patrick gives him a teasing smile and starts the whole gradual process again with two fingers this time instead of one. He knows David can take much more than this, can open up much faster, can easily and enthusiastically take much more than just two of his fingers, but he promised David delayed gratification tonight and he plans to deliver.

Once Patrick has two of his fingers buried deep in David, he bends down and licks a long, slow path from the underside of David’s balls all the way to the head of his cock, swirls his tongue around, then repeats the movement in reverse. He sucks one of David’s balls into his mouth and hears David’s breath catch, so he lets go of it and sucks the other one and is rewarded with the same noise. He drags his lips slowly up the underside of David’s cock again, then sucks the head into his mouth, making David cry out and his abs tense. Patrick moves his tongue against the underside of the head, sucking a little harder for a moment before letting go again and going back to long, slow licks.

He starts moving his fingers again, slowly in and out of David’s ass, and repeats the pattern of licking and sucking a few times until David is babbling and begging and clawing at the sheets. Finally, Patrick takes mercy on him and starts really sucking, bobbing his head up and down on David’s cock and moving his fingers in and out with determination, curling them to hit David’s prostate on each stroke. David cries out, overwhelmed with all the sensation after so much slow teasing, and Patrick pulls off, kneeling up to look David in the eye while he keeps thrusting, more slowly now, in and out of him.

“Patrick, I’m so close, please,” he begs, and Patrick sees the sweat on his forehead, the way his chest is heaving with shaky breaths, and decides it’s time.

He grins at David, and gives his inner thigh a little bite. “Okay, David, you’ve been very patient tonight,” he says. “It’s time for your reward.”

“Oh, thank fucking god,” David says, practically sobbing now.

Patrick bends down to David’s cock and licks it again from base to tip, getting it nice and wet, before sucking it into his mouth once more. He thrusts in and out with his fingers, crooking them in a way that makes David groan as he grinds down on Patrick’s fingers. David’s hands come to Patrick’s head, fingers burying themselves among the short curls and fisting there, and Patrick lets him guide his movements, lets David take his pleasure from him, until he lets out a shuddering moan and comes, long and hard, into Patrick’s mouth.

Patrick does his best to swallow as it comes, and only chokes a little, and manages to keep his mouth on David, gently easing him through the aftershocks, until David pulls him off.

When Patrick kneels up again, David’s head is thrown back, a look of blissful exhaustion on his face, the anxiety of the past week completely erased. He’s sweaty and his hair is a mess and he looks completely wrecked, and it’s the hottest thing Patrick has ever seen. Patrick’s hand goes to his cock, rock hard from tending to David, and he begins to stroke himself to the sight of his gorgeous, sexed out husband.

“Stop!” David says, and Patrick’s hand pauses on his cock. “Take your hand off your cock.”

Patrick is confused, though he does what David asks.

David sits up. There’s a wicked gleam in his eye. “It’s your turn now.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://schittposting.tumblr.com)!


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